September 29, 2021 | By Jeri Gore
The staff at IAES is proud to share with you a letter by none other than our Blog Division Head, Jeri Gore! Her compassionate, strong, and thoughtful spirit shines through these words addressed to her mom in this heartfelt and insightful piece. We learn not only of AE’s far-reaching impacts on families, but of the joy and opportunity that can await AE Warriors after surviving the worst parts of the illness.
We hope you enjoy this opportunity to learn more about Jeri’s LGI1 story and what drives her to be such a hard-working, dedicated member of IAES!
“If we accept the science of the law of Conservation of Energy, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” ― Einstein
In other words, the total amount of energy in the universe never changes, although it may change from one form to another. Energy never disappears, but it does change form. It isn’t a far leap in realizing that love, the most powerful form of energy, is eternal.
It has been a while since I have written you a letter. I apologize. There is a lot to tell you and talk about. I suppose the emotion of it all made it tough for me. Still, no excuse, you are my Mom and I love and miss you dearly and always will.
I know you probably know ALL about what is going in our lives but, boy oh boy, do we need to have a chat! The grandkids are doing great, and all are busy. Another is going to be getting married, one went off to college and your eldest grandson and his wife are going to have a baby boy this coming November. Just think of it, you would be a great grandmother. I know, you are so excited about this! Bro and I are doing fine as are Mitch and Marina. Keeping track of the kids and their lives is fun and exciting. They would have you laughing as they always did.
We made it up to the cottage in Canada this summer after the long 18 months or so of Covid restrictions and we could not be happier being here in the place that you loved best next to sunny south Florida.
I was standing near the stone we placed in your honor, in front of the cottage facing the lake and I figured it was high time I told you all about me. To talk about the disease, I have. To tell you about the organization I try and do my best to be a part of, and to help to try to ensure that there will come a day when no one needs to write to their Mom about this disease. To help ensure Autoimmune Encephalitis is a term, a disease, that is known about and easily diagnosed and treated.
Mom, I have Autoimmune Encephalitis anti-LGI1. Big word I know. Strange as heck disease for sure. In 2018 and more into 2019 I started having odd symptoms. My brain felt foggy. Sometimes I would be looking at someone and just have a blank look in my eyes. Sometimes I was mean. At times I would repeat things. Sometimes I walked kind of funny and made weird noises. It was like I had dementia. I then had seizures. Lots of seizures. It was super scary for everyone around me. I was in the hospital a lot and I was finally taken to a great hospital in Philadelphia near where we live. A wonderful neurologist at that hospital knew all about Autoimmune Encephalitis and has taken good care of me. I am doing well now. I try and participate in as many clinical trials as I can to help further research and find out more about AE. I joined an organization called IAES or the International Autoimmune Encephalitis Society to help, in my small way, to get the word out about AE. No one needs to go thru what so many with AE do. No families and friends need to go thru what your grandchildren, Mitch, Bro, Marina and all of our friends did before I was diagnosed. I know, I know you would tell me NOT to pack 25lbs in a 5lb. bag. You said that to me all the time. But, Mom, for this, for AE, I must. There has been some research that leads scientists to believe that for some folks there may be a genetic link to the type of AE I have. I have to do everything I can to ensure others get this info and to get this information for your grandchildren and generations to come. I must do this for you.
Mom, you passed away ten years ago. We were told and we believed you had dementia. You were 81 years old. You started showing symptoms of neurological issues 5/6 years prior to when you died (right around the time of this last family picture taken in 2007). You were relatively young, and those symptoms came out of the blue. I know hindsight is always 20/20 but I cannot say, in my heart, that you did not have some form of AE.
You simply started showing signs of dementia-like behavior. This is one of the things many with AE have and show. We will never know.
We will miss you always. And I will do my damnedest to make sure no one ever needs to write a letter like this to their Mom in the future.
Mom, thanks for the chat. I promise not to wait this long to write and talk again. I hope you are doing great. I hope you are smiling down at us and have that twinkle in your eye. I would give anything to see it in person and to hold your hand. I’ll be sure to write about the upcoming baby and wedding and all the goings on with a young college kid. You would be laughing like crazy with everything that goes on with the other grands as well.
By the way, your cottage is as amazing as always.
And I hope you understand why I do what I do.
As always, love you forever and a day…
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